My Favourite Math Joke

[Paul F]

Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer one third x cubed.
She repeats "one thir -- dex cue"?
He repeats "one third x cubed".
She says, "one thir dex cuebd"?
Yes, that's right, he says. So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, "one thir dex cuebd...".
The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?".
The waitress says "one third x cubed" and while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder "plus a constant!".

 

[Bob]

This isnt a joke per say, but is something funny that happened when I worked for Xerox.
Everyone that has used an HP laser printer over the past 30 or so years, is familiar with the "Take out print cartridge, and gently shake side to side" To get the toner re-leveled, and squeeze out a few more prints.

A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE IS A DANGEROUS THING
I am retired USAF, retired in 2001. Went to work for Xerox as a copier technician (closest thing I could find to my USAF career as an Aircraft Weapon Mechanic). One of my co-workers at Xerox, Danny, had his own office in WOMAC army medicall Hospital, on Ft Bragg. He was a permanent fixture there. Permanent on site tech. Worked to maintain over 200 Xerox machines, from little desk top faxes to the Print Shop Printers used to make everything in the hospital. They were completely self sufficient with technology. Even had there own IT department with about a dozen or so Guys named Ben.
Once in a while, Danny would ask me to come assist him with labor intensive work. Like old machines, that took hours to repair alone, and went much quicker with an extra set of hands.
So this one time I went to help him. We were doing an inventory, collecting serial numbers, counting toner bottles, and xerographic drums. This was all on the large equipment. The laser printer/copies that were about the size of a washing machine.
As we come to one particular office, we heard a scream, a door slam, and we see what looks like black smoke coming out from under the door. We break into a run, feel the door, the knob, nothing hot, and open the door. Here is what we see...

A small room. Maybe 20x30 feet. At one end is a desk which sat a young female private. She was trying to catch her breath. Across from the door we came in from is another door leading out. The copier is located on the last wall of the room. It is covered in toner... this was the black "smoke" we saw. The ceiling was covered with Big splotches of toner. So thick that it was dripping off the ceiling onto the machine. The floor is coated with toner. Except for two spots. There was an area right in front of the copier, where a pair of boots, blocked the toner. The only 2 clean spots in the room. And foot prints in the toner leading out the other door. We turned back to the private, her eyes wide, and she gasped for breath and continued laughing.
Her story, "The printer wasn't printing. It said needed toner. So I went and got a bottle of toner" (its important that you realize these are big bottles, a two liter sized bottle) "But I did not know how to change it. So my Sargent was showing my. She rolled her eyes and says its very simple, take the new bottle, take the cap off, and before inserting in the machine, give it a good shake like this..."
Those bottles have a foam plug in the neck of the bottle. The plug has a 'X' cut into it, for the toner feeder to pick up the toner. It does prevent spills, but it was never designed to be shaken. Vigorously shaken.